Paul Laux Photography, Writing, and Radio

It’s hard, sometimes, to see the success of others and not feel jealous, envious, or any other -ous that made you wish you had the same sort of opportunity.  It’s ever harder when you don’t see an end in sight to the constant nine-to-five that helps you what, be able to afford gas that week?  OOOOHHHH…great.

Bitterness.  Definition:  anger and disappointment at being treated unfairly; resentment.  Or, anger and disappointment at SOMEONE ELSE being treated FAIRLY…well…at least to them.  It’s an easy thing to fall into, and one that is nearly impossible to get out of.  It’s even worse when you see great things happen to people you love and respect, and then instantly feel awful for being bitter and get bitter foR BEING BITTER AND….*sigh*

Sometimes, it feels like that no matter where you are, there is someones else who is better and someone else who is getting the job over you, and to be honest, there really is.  There is always going to be that one person that is better than you and has everything that you want and gets everything handed to them…in your eyes.  That’s the key.  If you aren’t awesome to yourself, you aren’t awesome to anyone.

But okay, love yourself blah blah blah blah blah that’s all true and necessary of course, but not the point here.  Let’s be honest, life can really suck.  No need to curved the edges…it SUCKS sometimes.  Like hangnails, and snow, and taxes, and hair loss, and hair growth, and fat, and those stupid blister packs…but this is what was built for us, so just go with it.  Seriously, that’s really all you can do, go with it.

I have had people tell me “Paul, I don’t know how you keep going on looking for that right opportunity.”  My answer is always the same.  “Well…what ELSE am I supposed to do??”  Yea, it kinda sucks (Note: Keyword) when someone who you KNOW is less qualified than you and has a lot fewer lines on their resume gets the job above you because of some sort of quota (don’t send me hate mail) or because they are the bosses son, but someone has to punch you in the face to make you bitter right?  RIGHT?  People want you to be so bitter that you’ll take that low pay job, that unsatisfying job, and bow to them…but don’t.  You can be bitter without doing that right? right.

“Your chance will come around when it does.” Hue hue hue, nice.  Listen, I love positive people, and I really am one, though you wouldn’t know it from this little rant.  I also love positive messages like that and they are fun to believe, but don’t pull the wool over your eyes, life can really STINK sometimes, a lot of time!  You’re going to be bitter a lot, and rightfully so.  I honestly don’t know anyone who isn’t.  But as long as you know that, and you have people to rant with, it’s just what you have to do.

Listen, I am halfway to getting my Master’s in Communication.  I am 23 and don’t live on my own yet because I can’t afford it with my minimum wage – 18 hour a week job…with a Bachelors….but what else do I have to do?  Lay down and quit?  Eh, that’s too boring.  I guess I just like the abuse and hope that someday maybe someone will want to punch me twice.

~PL